Love Knowing Death
by theunluckybreak
Summary: Sherlock/John. Moriarty wants to burn Sherlock's heart out and what's the best way to do it? Aim for the person he loves.


**Love. Knowing. Death.**

Summary: Sherlock/John. Moriarty wants to burn Sherlock's heart out and what's the best way to do it? Aim for the person he loves.

Sherlock is very protective of John.

He doesn't acknowledge the pain John has been through, not enough. He knows though and respects it. He's not insensitive. Not with John.

Sherlock admires John's loyalty. He hasn't known of that kind of loyalty before.

It makes him worried though. It's a sign of weakness to be this protective of someone. Or love someone. Because if Sherlock is actually going to be honest with himself, that's how he feels. He loves John Watson.

He sends John on these stupid mission because John has to do something, has to stop thinking. He needs to be involved. Sherlock has to keep him involved. Everything happens so fast and Sherlock isn't sure John really understands it and Sherlock has to make him understand.

Sherlock knows John can take care of himself, but Sherlock knows something John doesn't. He isn't sure if John just hasn't understood it yet, (he doesn't fully know how long it takes for normal people to figure things out). He can't leave John alone, not for long. John thinks this is some new clingy side of Sherlock, he doesn't understand Sherlock is there to protect him.

They have been threatened. Or it's more John who has been threatened. It's not good for John to be around Sherlock, not really. But Sherlock knows that if John knew the full story, understood, then he still wouldn't leave. Loyalty. And it isn't like Sherlock would actually let John go anyway.

Sherlock knows what Moriarty meant by burning his heart out. He knows what Moriarty meant by John being loyal, of course he knows. Sherlock tried to say he doesn't have a heart, but Moriarty knows he does. He _knows. _He pretty much knows before Sherlock does. Before John does.

He knows how Sherlock feels about John. Sherlock isn't impressed.

Okay, he is. But he would be a fool to reveal that.

Sherlock is married to his job and John is almost like his mistress. He feels bad for loving John. He can't focus because of it. It blinds him.

Moriarty relishes in it and _knows. _All Moriarty ever does is _know._

But isn't that the definition of an archenemy? Who should know you the best if not your archenemy? They have to know everything.

And Moriarty knows about John and Sherlock knows Moriarty is coming for him. But John knows nothing.

All John does is sleeping like a baby next to Sherlock in his bed. It annoys Sherlock that he is so calm and he wonders just how long it will take for him to get it.

With time Moriarty isn't the only one who knows about Sherlock's love. Mycroft sees it too and he understands there is some kind of threat. He can read it.

But Sherlock refuses to tell him anything. He doesn't need Mycroft's help, he never has. As long as he's by John's side, everything will be alright.

Mycroft wants Sherlock to tell John, but Sherlock won't. He can't.

It actually doesn't take long after that. Sherlock gets home one afternoon and finds John on the sofa, staring out into nothingness.

Sherlock thinks about striking first, landing some witty remark, but he doesn't. This time he waits. Even though he hates the silence.

John doesn't mind the silence and Sherlock knows this. John drags it out on purpose.

"I have a mark on my head", John states.

"Yes."

John nods, eyes still empty, and seems to think.

"You weren't planning on telling me?"

"No."

"Why?"

The same speed their conversations use to have. Sharp. And this time a bit icy.

"I was waiting for you to figure it out."

John moves his gaze and it lands on Sherlock. He's not frightened by it and he doesn't feel uncomfortable. Sherlock never does. They hold each others gazes for a long time. Sherlock notices the anger.

"Moriarty wants me and you've known this whole time without telling me."

"I didn't think it was necessary."

"Not necessary? He wants me dead. Don't I deserve to know?" John asks with a louder voice.

Sherlock doesn't answer. It takes everything he has to not answer that. He wants to, but he knows it's wise to shut up right now. This isn't the time for him to be arrogant and smart. Or maybe smart, he still needs that.

He waits for John patiently, waits to hear what he's got to say, what he thinks they should do.

"So this is why you've been-?"

Clingy? Needy? Always there? Yes, Sherlock thinks. John had finally put all the puzzle bits together. John doesn't have to finish the sentence for them both to understand.

John sighs and rubs his face with his palms. He seems tired even though Sherlock knows he's been sleeping for at least full eight hours every night now.

They know it's probably just a matter of time now. They don't know the puzzle Moriarty has laid out for them yet, but it would soon reveal itself.

John gets up and gets closer. Carefully. Sherlock knows he shouldn't move and spoil the moment. It's a very delicate moment for John right now, he could easily crack.

Sherlock wonders why though, he's seen the man in control with a bomb strapped on him, he's been in Afghanistan seeing dead people and destruction.

But for some reason John isn't calm right now. Sherlock wants to know why, but he'll ask that another time.

John stands close and looks up at Sherlock. He breathes out short, like he's accepting it. Accepting things like he always did around Sherlock.

John pulls an steady left hand around Sherlock's neck and pulls him down for a kiss. He finally understands.

John kisses gently, but Sherlock changes the speed of it and makes it a bit rougher. They kiss like this would be the last time, which it also could.

They don't know what will happen next. Not even Sherlock knows.

"I... um", Sherlock says and tries to find it in him to say it, but he can't. He can't say what John means to him.

John nods when nothing else comes out of Sherlock's mouth. Maybe he understands this time, Sherlock can only hope.

It takes a few more days and then John is missing. It's like Moriarty knew John had finally figured it out, like he had been waiting for it.

Sherlock is offered help from Lestrade and The Scotland Yard, but Sherlock knows he has to do this by himself.

He receives the most silly messages from Moriarty, everything seems like a treasure hunt. Just like the criminal mastermind wants it.

A game. And when has Sherlock ever turned down a game like this? He should be enjoying it, but finds it hard since it's John's life at risk now. He wants to keep it cool, but he can't.

Sherlock solves the riddles, not much to his surprise and ends up at a big old warehouse. Sherlock immediately checks all the entrances and takes the place in.

He's carrying John's British Army Browning L9A1 with him. He will most likely need it.

It's dark in there, but then suddenly lights are switched on in the middle of the warehouse, showing John gagged and tied to a chair.

Sherlock slowly walks closer to the light, the gun out now, eyes taking in everything around him.

He stops just outside the circle of light and locks eyes with John. He seems unharmed. He doesn't seem scared. Not much.

"You knew this would happen, Sherlock."

He recognizes Moriarty's voice and he looks for any signs in the darkness.

"But yet you made him stay with you. It makes one wonder, do you really care for our Johnny here?"

"Where are you? Why don't you come out so I can see you?" Sherlock asks calmly.

"Oh, so desperate to see me. I'm flattered, Sherlock, really."

Moriarty stepped out from the shadows into the circle of light. He was again dressed in some expensive suit, looking smart and dangerous.

Sherlock points the gun steadily towards Moriarty. This is silly. Such a déjà vu.

"What do you want?" Sherlock asks, his gaze shifting down to John's just quickly to make sure yet again that he's okay.

"I want to watch the world burn. And I want to see your cute friend here to die. If I'm lucky I'll at least get to see the last one in only a moment."

"You just called me here to watch him die", Sherlock states and understands what's going on.

"No. No, Sherlock I didn't. I called you here so you could kill him yourself", Moriarty says and smirks sadly.

Sherlock tries to understand, tries to understand Moriarty's plan, tries to understand the trap, but he can't see it. Why would he ever kill John?

"Stop looking so confused, Sherlock, it really doesn't fit you."

Sherlock's gaze snaps back to Moriarty, but he fails to come up with some snide remark.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you would kill the only person that actually means anything to you!" Moriarty almost screams and after he laughs.

Moriarty comes closer and Sherlock shifts, continuing to aim the gun at him.

"Why would I kill him?" he finally asks and watches Moriarty's playful smile.

His archenemy has got his hands casually in his pockets and he's obviously not afraid of the gun in Sherlock's hands. Sherlock wonders if Moriarty knows something he doesn't and guesses that's probably the case. Moriarty knows _everything. _

Moriarty is close, insanely close. Sherlock has never been this close to his nemesis before. The closeness creates some kind of electricity between them, an angry tension.

"You've got a choice to make", Moriarty whispers in his ear and grins. He walks back to stand behind John, patting John's head mockingly before doing so.

"Either you kill John or... you kill me", Moriarty says and stretches his arms out to show his point.

Sherlock doesn't fall for it. It can't be that easy. "What's the catch?"

"There's no catch. You'll walk out of here without anyone touching you. All you have to do is choose."

"Why? You know how simple my choice will be, why would you do this?"

Moriarty shakes his head and places his hands back into his pockets. The arrogance is reeking from Moriarty, but Sherlock thinks Moriarty should get to be arrogant. He's smarter than him after all.

"I actually don't think your choice will be that easy. I mean, would you really want to kill your nemesis? What's a great detective without his great archenemy?"

"I don't need an archenemy-"  
"Of course you do! Don't lie to me, Sherlock, remember I know you better than anyone. Better than our sweet little doctor here."

Sherlock looks down at John and their eyes lock. The choice is simple. It _is _simple.

"You're addicted to the games. You can't be bored because then you'll stop thinking and loose control and you can't loose your control, can you?"

The gun is still pointing sharply at Moriarty and Sherlock's eyes are locked with John's. He needs to find any clue that this is a set up, he has to understand why Moriarty is doing this.

But John's eyes doesn't reveal any of that. John's eyes are blank with the blue in them almost shining.

"You'll be nothing without me, you need me. You know you do, you enjoy our games. It's thrilling", Moriarty says slowly.

Doubt. Sherlock is sure he saw doubt. John's eyes read doubt.

Why hasn't he shot Moriarty yet? What exactly is he waiting for? He has to kill Moriarty to save John, then why isn't he shooting? Is it true? Is Moriarty right again?

Of course he Is, but that still doesn't mean he has to kill the one person he loves to prove it.

"You see, Sherlock, you and I belong together. We were meant for each other. We understand each other and without each other we would be nothing."

Sherlock looks back at Moriarty, watches the evil smile on his lips.

Doubt. Knowing. Gun.

Love. Games. Death.

"Choose", Moriarty says.

Sherlock does and he rises the gun. He shoots one bullet.

That's all he needs.

END


End file.
